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Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, Third Edition
Free Ebook Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, Third Edition
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Review
"A common-sense, compassionate, human book about the crazy process that more than half of us go through. This should be required reading with all marriage licenses.""--Philadelphia Inquirer"
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From the Back Cover
Thoroughly revised and updated for a new generation, the essential guide for men and women to help them weather the turmoil of divorce and build rich, rewarding livesThere is nothing easy about the breakup of a marriage, from coping with loss and failure to dealing with the uncertainty of the future. In this intelligent and insightful book, Abigail Trafford charts this emotional journey, identifying the common phases in the evolution from marriage to separation to divorce and eventually to a new life.Based upon her personal experience, extensive research, and interviews with hundreds of divorced men and women, Trafford offers individuals a better understanding of their own experiences and the message that they are not alone in their pain and confusion. Crazy Time is also an investment in the future—Trafford reveals the telltale signs of a marriage in crisis and discusses what determines whether a relationship will survive over time.This revised edition includes the most up-to-date research on the effects of divorce in adults' and children's lives, addresses the special challenges of becoming single again in the age of the Internet, and broadens the experience of divorce to include the breakup of all committed relationships. For anyone who has divorced, or is considering taking that step, Crazy Time offers a sense of hope and confidence that this transition is not only an ending but can also be a valuable beginning.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; 3 edition (November 11, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0062337408
ISBN-13: 978-0062337405
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.7 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
182 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#22,517 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Terrible bookThis book was clearly written from a viewpoint that cheating, lying and leading a double life is part of a growing process for a spouse that decides they have the right to act anyway they want regardless of the vows they made. There is no responsibility for this behavior-and it is clearly seen as an indicator that they are in a bad marriage that is not “meeting their needsâ€.It is exactly what is wrong with our society today - no responsibility, no consequence just do whatever makes you feel good no matter what the consequence. It goes on at length on how these cheaters and liars lead this double life on their way to a better life.Great read for a narcissist.
I've now read about five different books about divorce, including this one, as it was recommend to me by a friend who works in a bookstore and said a lot of people bought this book. I'm also going through therapy with two different psychologists, so I have a lot of viewpoints to sample from.The strength of this book (IMHO) is the validation of the absolute lunacy -- or "Crazy Time" -- that follows the divorce announcement. My husband of 16 years just announced one day that he was done, didn't think our relationship was worth working on. He agreed to one counseling session, that's it, and by the end of the hour, I knew he'd already left. Crazy time? Oh, yeah. -- So this book does a good job of explaining some of the less rational urges and actions that are typical in the aftermath of the divorce proclamation, and for me, knowing I wasn't the only person to experience it was helpful and reassuring. Also, it's very readable, with short chapters of theory and research data interspersed with case studies (or stories). Crazy time is not known for long attention spans, at least not for me.The downside of this book is that it focuses a lot on a dominant partner and a submissive partner in the relationship. And in my opinion, it gives the submissive partner free rein to do whatever they want or need to do to break out of their rut, including having affairs with other people, lying to their spouse, and not being willing to work on the relationship. Needless to say, by this model, I was the dominant one in the relationship: older, more educated, better off financially. But I wanted my partner to be able to grow if he wanted to. I bought him his business, I didn't pressure him to find a job when he took a year off, I encouraged his efforts. I never abused him or even yelled at him. Yes, I was disappointed and angry sometimes when he would promise to be home by a certain time and then be several hours late without calling -- that's common courtesy, right? Not abuse.So, because of this, he has the right to just dump me by the side of the road without so much as a hint of his unhappiness in advance? And being unwilling to work on trying to save us for even a couple of therapy sessions? He just gets to decide and leave? -- yes, there was another woman (half my age, thanks a lot for that) but I firmly believe he was already going that way and she just found fertile ground in his unhappiness. -- And I'm not saying I am without contribution to the end of this marriage; it does take two, after all. I wasn't perfect, and our marriage wasn't perfect. But my objection (to the book and to my own situation) is that I think an investment of 16 years is worth a little respect, time and effort to at least say, "Hey, I'm unhappy. Can we talk?" before it's already the end.Anyway, that's my main critique of the book: it's lets the "submissive" partners off the hook and holds the "dominant" partners accountable even if there was no abuse or warning or indication of unhappiness. Other books I've read, and my therapists' approach, have been less biased in this way, more even-handed.
If only I had known some of these things twenty years ago, I might still be married. This is an excellent book for people going through either a divorce or a separation with the hope of reconciliation. I do wish it had a different title since some of the issues in my own marriage involved "craziness" (read "depression") but once I got past that phrase, I was able to get so much insight and help from this book. It doesn't matter which side you're on--asking for the divorce or on the receiving end of the request--this book leads the reader through the stages in a very readable, approachable format. The second part goes into what happens next--dating, sex, remarriage. I'm not there yet--but I will be. I bought the book for my husband (the one who instigated the divorce) to help him understand his own feelings of guilt, sorrow, and how to move on. I'm glad I bought the book (first I checked it out from the library and ended up paying a big overdue fine) because it's one I will go back to many times in the next year or two as I process through my own changes after 40 years of marriage. Highly recommended!
I read this book when it was first published back in the early 80’s. To this day, I am grateful for the perspective, information and guidance it offers. Sadly, I just sent a copy to my daughter, who says that this book has been immensely helpful. A divorce, however one gets there, offers a chance to re-vision and restructure in ways that lead to a healthy self image, a better understanding of relationships...definitely a guide to a happier and better life. If you want to be a better, happier person following a divorce, I highly recommend “Crazy Timeâ€.
For anyone going through the breakup of a relationship this is a must read.... as a therapist I regularly recommend this book to my clients
I bought four books to help me cope with the breakup of my marriage.It’s a very upsetting event in my life and I was wondering how I could possibly ever recover and be happy again.The content of this book is straight forward and I’m finding that it’s giving me the tools to make it through the process.I’m a 50 year old male and recommend this book.
Containing statistics, personal stories and light-lending narrative - this book has the ability to help alter your personal perspective on divorce and remind you that you are not alone. Whether you are separating, going through the divorce or have legally completed a divorce this book comes highly recommended. I was NOT disappointed.
When I went through my separation and divorce this book helped me a lot! It helped me understand that I really wasn't going crazy and that I was not alone. That's been 18 years ago! Now I buy this book for my friends, family and acquaintances who may be experiencing the pain, devastation, uneasiness, frustrations, etc. of separation and divorce. Been there, done that, it's no fun, but you do survive!!!
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